Jelly Babies vs Zoids, Part 2

April 12, 2015, 12:29 am

≫ Next: Jelly Babies of Doom... are Dooomed!

≪ Previous: Jelly Babies vs Zoids, Part 1

Continued from...Jelly Babies vs Zoids, Part 1

In a desperate attempt to boost ratings, some new, sexier ~~characters~~ zoids have been introduced!

Having run the Brontozoid off the edge of a ~~desk~~ cliff after the last episode, the Jelly Babies of Doom acquire new targets

A Kroc makes short work of a Yellow Jelly Baby but attracts the attentions of the fallen Baby's brethren

The Scorpozoid and a Mantazoid are of no help to the Kroc

The Jelly Babies prevent the Kroc from opening its deadly jaws

The Zoids are quickly overpowered by the remaining Jelly Babies of Doom

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Jelly Babies of Doom... are Dooomed!

April 15, 2015, 8:23 am

≫ Next: Ripples in the sand

≪ Previous: Jelly Babies vs Zoids, Part 2

Continued from...Jelly Babies vs Zoids, Part 2

In this, the final part of the Jelly Babies saga, the Jelly Babies of Doom meet their doom!*

The terrifying Dysonzoid is more than a match for the Jelly Babies of Doom

The fleeing Jelly Babies are quickly picked off

Dysonzoid's turbo head smushes the Jelly Babies to smithereens!

* Mainly because I kept eating them between photo-shoots. Oops!

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Ripples in the sand

April 18, 2015, 9:36 am

≫ Next: A Spell at the Seaside

≪ Previous: Jelly Babies of Doom... are Dooomed!

As there's precious little else to report at the moment, I thought I'd just show you some photos from my last spell ingredient hunt on Cromer beach.

Looking west to Cromer - Cromer church tower on the left, and the pier reaching out to sea

I took the following photos while flying low over the beach on Broom. I rather like the alienness of the patterns in the wet sand.

Until next time...

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A Spell at the Seaside

April 29, 2015, 2:09 am

≫ Next: "I'll wee on your toast"

≪ Previous: Ripples in the sand

Success! No, not Cromer Pier winning Pier of the Year 2015;

Ignore bottom right - it must have been rubbish collection day

I finally got lucky finding ingredients for the spell I'm working on. And, no, not THAT spell, Ms Scarlet, as I'm still missing a purple sponge. Although I'm wondering if a pink-nylon-netting-shower-pom-pom-on-a-string-thingamie will do instead?

Common whelk egg cases

Beadlet sea anemones

Common starfish - I rescued it from being mauled by a dog

Some sort of worm tubes. Possibly some sort of Polychaete Sabellida?

Now comes the hard part: I have to combine them in such a way not to create a gigantic unstoppable monster the likes of which only Godzilla - or possibly the Chewit Monster - can vanquish!

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"I'll wee on your toast"

April 30, 2015, 10:18 pm

≫ Next: Beakzilla Strikes Again!

≪ Previous: A Spell at the Seaside

Due to a somewhat hectic schedule, I'm still working on the post that I'd hoped you'd see here. Still, the Smack the Pony girls should keep you entertained in the meantime:

Heh!

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Beakzilla Strikes Again!

May 9, 2015, 2:45 am

≫ Next: Not the Hats of Barbara Cartland II: The Collectors' Edition

≪ Previous: "I'll wee on your toast"

As excuses for not blogging go, I think dealing with an increasingly voracious Beaky takes some beating.

Beaky wolfing down fat balls (made from unbaptised boy fat, naturally)

Uh, oh. He's seen me!

Ha! You look stupid without your tail, Beaky!

The increasingly uppity little shit has fathered a new brood of unspeakable evil, and is proceeding to eat me out of house and ~~home~~ castlette. I can't think of any good reason why I continue to put up with his incessant demands and his wife's shrillness, but I can't bring myselves to get rid of him. I have an inkling that he has me under some sort of thrall...

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Not the Hats of Barbara Cartland II: The Collectors' Edition

May 14, 2015, 2:11 am

≫ Next: The Spring Garden ABC

≪ Previous: Beakzilla Strikes Again!

I swore I wouldn't go to another wedding unless it was someone very close to me who was getting married (emotionally and geographically), or it was guaranteed to be a spectacular disaster, destined to have shakey, handheld videos of which to be endlessly repeated on Harry Hill's You've Been Framed, endlessly.
So, you can imagine my horror when I discovered that I'd soon be attending the wedding of a couple I'd barely heard of which was guaranteed to be thronged with countless people I don't know, and, to top off, wasn't even local!
How is my attendance to this smug and indulgent social occasion pretty much guaranteed? Because I am the 'plus one' to someone I can't say no to: Thunderfly, a weather warlock ~~I have a small crush on~~ to whom I owed a favour that he had the audacity to call in!

Anyway, after a lot of whining and foot stamping, I resigned myself to fly half way across the Cusp with Thunderfly to this wearisome wedding on the proviso that he does all the social stuff while I lurk in the background and indulge in copious amounts of gin.

On the plus side, I get to wear a new hat!

Click to engorge.
Oh, and sincere apologies to the Not The Nine O'Clock News team...

I just can't decide which one. From the above collection, Fillet de Tampon is taken - it was snapped up by Ms Scarlet, and Pork Scratching is on hold for The Very Mistress MJ.
Then there are these 'inspired by nature' hats which are being prepared for inclusion in the collection:

Koi Carp Ark - One of Dame Barbara's hats from her debutant days (circa five million BC), this now fossilised relic is being lovingly restored by Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer from the ancient millionaire's Ancient Millinery division.

Puffer Fish - Seen here perched jauntily atop Dame Barbara's head in this rare image from the opening of Ascot in August 1711, Puffer Fish's robust construction has ensured its survival to the present day. The internal framework of wingbones from the California Condor almost singlehandedly brought about the extinction of the species. The hat is made buoyant by being inflated with the farts of a million hummingbirds.

Bed Bugs & Broomsticks - A favourite of Dame Barbara's first husband, Alexander McCorquodale (seen here shaking the dandruff off from the last time it was worn). He is noted to have commented that when his wife wears Bed Bugs & Broomsticks, he gets rather hot under the collar! For the curious, the hat is made from a single bed bug plucked from the royal mattress of His Royal Highness, George VI, stuffed with candied peel and glazed with a mix of turpentine and Vimto.

Decisions, decisions...

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The Spring Garden ABC

May 17, 2015, 1:58 am

≫ Next: Please take us to the First Sirian Bank*

≪ Previous: Not the Hats of Barbara Cartland II: The Collectors' Edition

Well, Spring has well and truly sprung around Castlette DeVice! There's still a lot of green, but other colours are starting to come through now that the yellows, oranges and reds of the daffodils and tulips have been and gone.

Before we get to the ABC, here are some photos from the end of April:

Magnolia, Acer (Japanese maple), and Camassia.

So, on to the ABC: A is for Aquilegias

B is for Bluebells

And C is for Cedric. What the hells..? Cedplop! Get out of the shot, you're ruining everything you little ruiner! Oh, and take my cup with you, there's a good plop.

Sigh... Oh, well. Here's a photo of the blossom tree to finish off with:

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Please take us to the First Sirian Bank*

May 19, 2015, 2:10 pm

≫ Next: Under the Cake Dome

≪ Previous: The Spring Garden ABC

Here we are with the May book post, and not a Star Trek book in sight!

20.The Bees, by Laline Paull

I bought this book after having read a brief review on io9 at the end of last year.
I found it to be quite a delightful look into the workings of a beehive, with the author's scientific knowledge of bees given a creative and engaging flourish. I particularly liked the emphasis on the bees methods of hierarchy, communication and senses.
However, I found myself frequently annoyed with the antics of the protagonist bee, whose point of view the novel focused on. Her many adventures seemed too easily entered into, and her transgressions seemed unrealistically unpunished (although not without consequence). All rather 'Mary Sue'.

21.Hollow City, by Ransom Riggs

The second novel of the Miss Peregrine's Peculiar Children series in which the Peculiar Children escape from their Welsh island home before it is bombed during World War II. This novel follows their adventures on the way to London in search of an ymbryne (kind of a witch) who can revert Miss Peregrine back from her bird form in which she's become stuck. Oh, and also while escaping the vile clutches of various hollows (monsters) and wights (monsters in human form).
While I rather enjoyed this second outing of the Peculiar Children, it wasn't as engaging or novel as the first - probably because the scene has already been set. Still, the old-timey photos were well chosen to illustrate the story.

22.The Dark Side of the Sun, by Terry Pratchett

I hummed and hahed about whether to read something from the DiscWorld, or a stand-alone novel, and eventually picked this (one of Sir Terry's first novels).
I love it for the imaginative concepts and world-building, and especially because the protagonist, Dom Sabalos, has a planet (The First Sirian Bank) for a godfather! The aliens are truly alien and the humans even more so, and some of the technology is truly indistinguishable from magic.

* Post title from page 61.

23.The Next Always (The Inn at Boonsboro trilogy), by Nora Roberts

This was a free book from Amazon after I'd spent a certain amount, or bought a certain book from some promotion or other. I don't normally read this kind of romantic-fiction-thing (chick lit?), but was mildly surprised by it even though it was a tad predictable.
A centuries-old inn in the town of Boonsboro is being renovated by three brothers, and, coincidentally I'm sure, three single women are thrown into the mix. Plus a rather matter-of-factly presented minor-character ghost - no occult mysticism or hocus-pocus, and no boring back story. Really quite refreshing.

24.Howl's Moving Castle, by Diana Wynne Jones

Having seen the animated film some years ago, I thought it was high time I read the book.
It's quite different from the film, but I mostly think that's a good thing as books generally don't tend to translate well, word-for-word or page-to-screen, or whatever you want to call it.
I found it a little too 'young adult', but that's probably because I expected it to be an adult book, for some reason.

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Under the Cake Dome

May 28, 2015, 10:50 am

≫ Next: Spring Cleaning

≪ Previous: Please take us to the First Sirian Bank*

Don't mind me. I'm just trying out the cake dome I was given for my birthday a couple of months ago. With The Mistress on holiday, it's safe to bring out the cakes without them getting farted on.

Victoria sponge with lashings and lashings of jam & cream

Australian Women's Weekly rich chocolate cake with a ganache topping

There. All done. That wasn't so bad, was it.

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Spring Cleaning

May 31, 2015, 7:26 am

≫ Next: Music from the Dead of Night

≪ Previous: Under the Cake Dome

Just attempting a little Spring cleaning on the blog. The previous template has served us well over the past nine or so years, but we (well, most of us - The Host's SubC is a bit stroppy about it) felt like a change.

Wicked Queen

Mecagothix

We're toying with replacing the title with one of the above, as we're not convinced of the look of the existing Crushed font (which briefly appears as Comic Sans before settling into the proper font). What do you think?

EDIT 20:06 - Let me know if anything looks a bit odd, or if things are too big/small/difficult to see etc. For example, I think the picture caption text may be a bit small - I can see it OK, just about, but then I'm looking at this on quite a big PC screen. Do any of you read this blog from a mobile/cell phone or tablet?

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Music from the Dead of Night

June 1, 2015, 11:34 am

≫ Next: An Allotment of Aquilegias

≪ Previous: Spring Cleaning

I thought it was about time I got some of my favourite music from this year in order. After all, at the speed this year's skidding by, it'll soon be time for the annual Coven Awards round-up & review!
So, with that in mind, may I present the four albums I've bought so far this year. There are videos (not all of them official) of my favourite tracks, and a runner-up listed (some of which have links to their own video if they exist).

Erasure: The Violet Flame
Dead of Night

Smoke and Mirrors

I've been a fan of Erasure since the late 1980s. I can remember loving A Little Respect on the Now XIII tape cassette, Stop! on Now 14, and Drama! on Now 16. The first album I bought was Chorus in 1991, and this one, The Violet Flame, is the latest. It was released in the Autumn of last year, but I've only just realised it existed!

| You will notice that there's a page break below. Don't worry: I meant to do it! I'm just trying it out |

Röyksopp: The Inevitable End
Save Me
I Had This Thing

I can't remember how or why I first came across Röyksopp - probably from hearing them on the radio or a T-Mobile advert. Anyway, I bought their first album - Melody A.M. - and never looked back. The Inevitable End was released late last year, but, like Erasure's The Violet Flame, I've only recently purchased it.

Syntax: Meccano Mind
Pride
Time to Fly

It was during a box-set marathon of watching Bones earlier this year that I first heard of Syntax. The track Pride was featured at the end of one of the episodes and I liked it so much that I googled the lyrics and discovered that I was a decade too late!

Temples: Sun Structures
Keep in the Dark
The Guesser

I have Ms Scarlet to thank for introducing me to Temples earlier this year, specifically the single Keep in the Dark.

~ ~ ~

FYI, I shall be working on the new blog header that we discussed in the last post over the next few days. Keep your eyes peeled.

Just don't leave the peel lying around for someone to slip on.

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An Allotment of Aquilegias

June 6, 2015, 4:25 am

≫ Next: Wanton for Brenton

≪ Previous: Music from the Dead of Night

The lovely weather we've had lately has kept me outside rather than in, so I only have news from the gardening front. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I've realised that many of our latest posts are more about the pictures and less about the writing - something we must rectify soon. But not today.

Today, I bring you an assortment of aquilegias (amongst other greenery) from The Mother's allotment. Many of these I have actively encouraged to grow, despite them taking up room for vegetable crops. Besides, The Mother doesn't visit the allotment as often as she used to, so Inexcuseable's husband and myselves have free rein to give it a good seeing to as we see fit.

As always, click the pics to embigulate and remember that there are more after the break.

This double pink variety, like many aquilegias up here, is growing under an apple tree

Oops! How did these Alliums get here?

A stellata variety growing next to raspberry canes

Close up of the stellata

The view south from the allotment (that's giant hogweed in the foreground)

There'll probably be a Castlette DeVice garden-related post coming up soon, so keep your green fingers & thumbs at hand!

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Wanton for Brenton

June 7, 2015, 10:34 am

≫ Next: The most peculiar octopus he had ever come across*

≪ Previous: An Allotment of Aquilegias

Brenton Thwaites, that is.

The awesomely-eyebrowed Brenton Thwaites all scrubbed up for Vogue

Oh, dear. We seem have succumbed to the fripperies of youth and eyebrows.

Again. It's embarassing!

Oh, shush, you. I can feel your vicarious thrill of the fancying from here.

Well, even if the thrill was real - which it's not - of course you could feel it: You're only two neurons away!

Silence! Gadzooks, are you two on, or something?

Anyway - getting back to the post at large - there's more after the jump:

Brenton Thwaites, star of such films as Oculus and The Signal, amongst others, first caught our eye in a trailer for Oculus. At the time, I hadn't realised that I'd already seen him as the young prince in Maleficent last year - probably because he looked so young (I hope).

I watched Jaws 2 the other day and, rather predictably, fawned over Mark Gruner as Mike Brody (well, until he got clonked over the head and was told off by his dad). But it wasn't until I watched Oculus the next day that I realised how similar Gruner and Thwaites look. Those awesome eyebrows, doe-eyes, lustrous hair and fit bodies. Sigh...

Mark Gruner as Mike Brody in Jaws 2

And you can imagine my joy when I discovered while watching it the following day that Thwaites stars in The Signal, too!

Plus, with his facial fluff, he reminds me of Josh Hartnett as Ethan Chandler in Penny Dreadful.
And that can only be a good thing!

Brenton Thwaites looking like a young Josh Hartnett, no?

Well, better put this post to bed otherwise we'll be here all night. Coming, Brenton?

He's thinking about it! Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

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The most peculiar octopus he had ever come across*

June 10, 2015, 2:28 am

≫ Next: Maddened by Mischievous Monsters

≪ Previous: Wanton for Brenton

OK, I managed a month without reading a Star Trek book, so it's back to normal now.

* A most peculiar octopus

25.The Magic Bubble-Pipe, by Stella Farris

I bought this for my niece, Babyzilla, either for this coming Christmas, or for her third birthday at the end of April 2016. However, I couldn't withhold the excitement and caved, giving it to her almost as soon as I saw her. It took all my (and Indescribable's) powers of persuasion to convince Babyzilla not to rip the pop-up bits out of the book once she opened it!

Read more »

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Maddened by Mischievous Monsters

June 13, 2015, 7:29 am

≫ Next: Quilted cakes and be-tentacled baking

≪ Previous: The most peculiar octopus he had ever come across*

Sigh... I shall be glad when this week's over. Yes, it has been one of those again.

Shug Monkey warning via Nuclear Summer

Monday, 07:28 - I was very surprised to see a Shug Monkey hanging around the entrance to Norwich bus station as I walked past on my way to work. I imagine it must have got on a bus from Cambridge to end up here in Norfolk? Anyway, I studiously ignored it. After all, I didn't want it following me to work and causing all manner of chaos and shitting under my desk.

Read more »

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Quilted cakes and be-tentacled baking

June 14, 2015, 9:39 am

≫ Next: Not the emperor's new clothes

≪ Previous: Maddened by Mischievous Monsters

Seeing as the last batch of baking I shared here escaped being cakefarted by The Mistress, I thought I'd share my latest batches. I'm experimenting with decorating, hence the quilted effect, the two-tone piped icing, and the... well, the octopi.

Under the mini-cake dome

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Not the emperor's new clothes

June 18, 2015, 5:34 am

≫ Next: Tales of Impending Bloom

≪ Previous: Quilted cakes and be-tentacled baking

While searching through my old sketches looking for stuff that I could hastily throw together for the sixth in my Star Trek: Voyages That Never Were posts (because I couldn't think what else to do), I came across some ideas for T-shirts and jackets that I'd sketched about fifteen years ago. I hesitate to call them fashion - long-time readers can attest to my challenges in that department - so let's just stick to alternate universe items of apparel!

I still like this zip-hemmed T-shirt and - if I had the body - I'd wear it now,
cries of "Mutton!" be damned!

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Tales of Impending Bloom

June 20, 2015, 4:32 am

≫ Next: Of not-Concorde, The Core and Contractors

≪ Previous: Not the emperor's new clothes

Here we are on the eve of the Summer Solstice and all I have to show are some tales of impending doom! The doom of Spring, that is, as we segue into Summer and the promise of blooms to come.

Witchface spent ages coming up with that.

I know. Sad, isn't it?

Oh, shut up, you two!

Acanthus spinosa

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Of not-Concorde, The Core and Contractors

June 25, 2015, 7:01 am

≫ Next: Happy Birthday, Norma!

≪ Previous: Tales of Impending Bloom

"Oh my gods we're going to crash!"
"Stop wringing your hands, IDV. It makes you look even more limp-wristed" The Mistress snapped. "Remind me again whose stupid idea this was?"
I glared at LX in the pilot's seat by way of reply. "I said we should have taken Concorde, but oh no, we had to take the Space Shuttle out for a spin."
"Well, at least we can say we've flown it now" LX said.
"If we live to tell the tale, that is!"
"Have you no sense of adventure?"
"Oh, shut up, LX!" 'Petra almost screamed. "This isn't an adventure. This is a nightmare!"
"There!" Ms Scarlet pointed out of the window. "We can land there!"
"What? Where?"
"There."
"In a bloody forest?" I was incredulous. "Are you mad?!"
"No. Look" and Ms Scarlet indicated a wide, tree-less avenue with her calligraphy ink-stained index finger. "There's a strip of clear ground near the edge."
"Well, it'll have to do as we're out of options now." LX was suddenly all business. "Strap in everyone!"
We all started doing up seat-belts and harnesses except for The Mistress. Instead, she began to hand out frighteningly large, firm silicone dildos complete with straps and buckles on their bases. Gods only knew where she'd managed to hide them until now.
"Strap in, MJ" 'Petra yelled. "Not strap on! What good are those going to do?"
"Take our minds off getting smushed to smithereens when this thing hits the ground? And you address me as 'Mistress', remember? 'MJ' is so last season."
"Fine, Mistress" 'Petra sulked, then leaned in and whispered, "Although, can you save me that sparkly fuschia one?"
Through the windshield, the ground was looming at an alarming rate.
"Oh, gods, it's The Core all over again..." I muttered as we plummeted towards the outskirts of Bendigo.

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