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The Worst Witches

September 9, 2015, 5:57 am
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 I thought I'd just pop in with a quick status report. I'm including both my sisters in this as I don't want you to think that it's just me who is finding this witching lark to be a tad taxing at the moment.

• Indescribable - A rubbish Wicked Stepmother. I mean, she actually gets on with her three step-children, and even took one of them camping (yeeuch!) along with Babyzilla!

• Inexcuseable - A non-mad Cat Lady. Despite a promising childhood, Inexcuseable has stubbornly shown innate skills of common-sense and level-headedness, and has never had more than three cats at any one time. Plus, she's coherant, bathes regularly and never throws her cats at people.

• And myself - A witch of such bad timing and memory, that I've neglected to push kids into ovens on numerous occasions; and I keep forgetting to be "busy" refurbishing Castlette DeVice with gingerbread, marzipan, and the like, whenever Mum-Ra and Dad-Ra (aka The Parents) want me to decorate their house. Consequently, I'm not finding much time to skip around your blogs and be sociable, and my home is being slowly devoured by the neighbourhood children.


Bugger.



P.S. Remember that it'll be the 2015 Tinfoil Hat Competition soon, so make sure you're stocked up with foil. I'll probably announce the compo at the weekend.

P.P.S. And just so you know, at least one of your number has already furnished me with their Tinfoil Hat (and accoutrements) compo submission, so you'd better get those tinfoil thinking caps on!

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Time for Tin Foil

September 12, 2015, 10:15 am
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 The time for terrifying tin foil tyrannosauruses tinkering is upon us!

 Yes, it's the 
2015 Tin Foil Hat (& other accoutrements) Competition!

Save money - Buy your tin foil in bulk!
 To celebrate the 10th anniversary of our arrival here in the 21st century, and the beginning of this blog, we've decided to host another tin foil hat compo.

 For those not in the know, a gift of tin is traditional for a 10th wedding anniversary, hence the hi-jacking of the tin bit to coincide with our 10 years of blogging.

 This compo shouldn't come as a surprise to you, what with the prompts, warnings and reminders that we've posted so far.
 
 Oh, except dear Savvy, who has displayed an uncanny ability to remain completely oblivious:

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Terrifying Tin Foil Timescales

September 26, 2015, 8:36 am
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Fang is just bursting with
excitement to see the Tin Foil
Top Hats and Tiaras
Competition submissions.
He's even practising his best
Mr Burns "Excellent" impression
for the occasion!
 I hope you're all just bursting with ideas for the Tin Foil Top Hats and Tiaras Competition 2015?*

 Well, those of you who have yet to submit an entry/entries, anyway...

 Right! You now have a week—yes, one week—to construct, photograph, and submit your entry to help celebrate/commiserate the 10th anniversary of this blog. I shall need all entries in my 'in box' by midnight Saturday 3rd October.
 Although the likelyhood of any/all of us being awake to sift through them at midnight is highly doubtful.
I'm sure we'll need an early night after the excitement of another week of Strictly Come Dancing!
 That's true. I suppose that as long as your entries are submitted by the time we get up on Sunday morning, that'll be OK.

 Well? What are you hanging around here for? Snap to it!



* Yes, I've changed the competition's name.

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Music to watch Tin Foil go by

October 1, 2015, 4:48 am
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 Right. As I'm sure you're all* coming into the home stretch with your tin foil hats (and the like) now, how about a little music to keep you going?
 Apologies for the adverts in the videos - I looked for non-official vids without advertising, but they were either crap quality or didn't exist (and, yes, I checked ViewPure, too)



 I've also been quite partial to Kim's "Never Trust A Stranger" and "Four Letter Word".

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"Can you smell cum?"

October 2, 2015, 4:36 am
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 I've just returned from The Parents where I was forced into gruelling manual labour (painting door frames & cabinets, moving bags of compost and cleaning the inside of car windscreens), and caught a most distinctive smell as I cycled up the Northrepps Road.



There must have been linden trees in the woods surrounding Northrepps Cottage.

Thanks for that, Prime Minister!

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Tin Foil Top Hats & Tiaras Gallery 2015

October 4, 2015, 3:47 am
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Oof! I'm awake. I'm awake. Here I am!

 Welcome to the Tin Foil Top Hats and Tiaras Gallery! As I'm sure you're all aware by now, this foil encrusted occasion is being held to celebrate the fact that we've managed to keep this blog going for ten years!
Ten interminable years.
Yeah, what a bloody palaver it's been. We should have given up back in 2010 instead of dragging this old carcass into another year.
 Hey! Shut up. We got back into the swing of things last year, didn't we?
I suppose...
 Ug. Who invited them? I thought you said the SubCs were going to be visiting Grandma Rosecrypt today?
 Well, that was the impression they gave. Irritating little sods.
 Anyway, we'd better get on with this as I feel we're losing the audience, so back to the matter at hand: In a little under a week - Friday the 9th of October, in fact - this blog will turn ten years old.
 And, it will also be ten years since I, Inexplicable DeVice, arrived here in the 21st century! Well, my mind, anyway. My body got a little charred just before I set off, but luckily The Host was here to land in.
 I don't know that I would call it lucky...
 Oh, hush. You sound like the SubCs! 
 Right! On with the show - and wipe your feet before coming in (you can hang your coats and whatnot in the foyer)! 

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Is... Is that a bridal Stormtrooper?

October 7, 2015, 2:12 am
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 Due to some pushing and shoving around the chapeaux gallery, and some people breaching the velvet rope barriers to have a grope at the tin foil exhibits (poor Hound is in even more agony now - although, from the look on his face, it's not all bad...), I've had to employ some security.

 Not knowing really what to look for in a security guard, the lovely Dinahmow stepped in and provided this Imperial Guard (looks like she snatched it straight from its wedding - fab bridal outfit!):
"I do" - Dinahmow's Imperial Guard in the midst of its own wedding.
Apparently, that's Nefertiti under there - I wasn't aware she had a part in Star Wars...


 Anyway, you can continue to peruse the Tin Foil Top Hats and Tiaras Gallery below and vote for your favourite either in the comments or by emailing me (email address in my profile). You have until midnight (GMT) Thursday 8th October to vote, and I'll be announcing the winner on the 10th anniversary of this blog which is Friday the 9th October.

 Good luck everyone!


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Tenth Anniversary Tin Foil Toasting!

October 9, 2015, 1:14 am
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 Hello, and welcome to this double celebration event! Yes, not only is it the 10th anniversary of this blog-
 And my arrival in the 21st century!
 Yes, that goes part-and-parcel with the blog thing. Now quiet while I get on with this.
Hmmph!
 Where was I? Oh, yes: Not only is it the 10th anniversary of this blog, but we will be revealing the winner of the Tin Foil Top Hats and Tiaras Competition!
 Before we announce the winner, we'd just like to thank you all for coming, and for your continued support over the years.
 Yes, whether you're an occasional visitor or a long-time lurker, a Flying Monkey or a Coven member, or even The Mistress-
 Who has been with us almost since the beginning. Although, she was called MJ then...
 I was getting to that! Ummm... Yes. So a big thank you to everyone who has put-up-with and played in this little corner of the Blogworld.
 Right, then. On with the show!

 The comment and email votes have been amalgamated and counted and I'm pleased to announce that every single eligible tin foil hat was voted for. However, the clear winner of the 2015 Tin Foil Top Hats and Tiaras Competition, with twice as many votes as the next highest entry, is...
 
  § 

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And they were scalded to death*

October 14, 2015, 1:39 am
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 Oof! I'm back!

 I know it's only been a few days since the anniversary, but we've been remarkably busy with work and socialising
Yes. I know!
 So, I'll leave you with the Host's latest "books read so far this year" update. While you're looking at or ignoring this, I'll do something about answering the comments in the last post and will also have a flit around your blogs, too. 

 See you out there!

~ ~ ~

 This book post is a bit Star Trekky this month, plus there are rather more books here than in the normal book posts, but that's because we didn't publish a book post back in September what with all the Tin Foil Hat rigmarole.
 Anyway, on with the show:


 43.Stories To Tell To Children, by Sara Cone Bryant

 This charming little book was first published over one hundred years ago in 1911. And the edition that I read (pictured on the right) was reprinted in October 1947 - I found it in The Parents' bookcase while packing things up in preparation for decorating.
 I must say, I was rather surprised by the amount of animal characters whose lives came to a sudden, and rather casual and callous end. I suppose, in that respect, some of these stories are much like the original fairy tales (which were warnings rather than sweet little tales to tell to children).
* Post title from "Another Little Red Hen" on page 86.


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Wanton for Well-Built Warlocks (and other distractions)

October 24, 2015, 2:55 am
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 Well, it's been another of those weeks. Fortnights, actually. Sometimes, living on the Cusp gets right on my thre'pennies!


Click to be terrified!
  Sunday,14:49 - Narrowly avoided being cocooned in silk, then sucked dry*, on a walk down Overstrand High Street.
 I forgot about the giant spider that lives at the end of the road...

* By the spider, as in: liquify my insides then drink them. Not anything untoward!

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A Magic Carpet Ride

October 25, 2015, 2:35 pm
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 I took a ride on a flying carpet today. I swore I'd never use one of the things after this little incident, but as it was Indescribable's and she wanted us all to go out as a family, I grudgingly agreed (she still has her broom, but the carpet is roomier and more practical now she has a babyzilla and another little horror on the way).

 Broom, understandably, was livid. Until I pointed out that the whole point of the flight was to show Babyzilla the sights of Cromer, and that with her on board, stickiness, whining, and various bodily excretions were pretty much guaranteed. Funnily enough, Broom quickly relented, and seemed happy to stay propped up in the umbrella stand with Hat for company while we were out.

 So. Here are some photos I took while Indescribable rather cack-handedly piloted her flying carpet. Needless to say, as this was the middle of the day, we used an obscuring spell to remain unseen to all and sundry below.

As before, hang a left at the lighthouse...

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Hallowe'en Creepycous-cous*

October 31, 2015, 1:51 am
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 Amongst the leafless trees and shrubs, the haphazardly placed statues stood cold, wrapped in dark shadows, and edged in dull moonlight.
 "They're weird, aren't they?"
 "What?"
 "The statues. They look like people." Allan inspected the weather-softened features of a slightly plump, stone woman as their dog, Monkey, sniffed around in the dead leaves at the statue's feet.
 "Isn't that what statues are supposed to look like?"  Patrick called back as he continued ahead through the grounds.
 "Well, yes, but these look like actual people. They're not posed, or stylised, or... or... I mean, this one looks like it could be wearing jeans and a t-shirt! Shouldn't they be wearing robes, or armour, or something?"
 "I suppose."
 "And have you noticed" Allan raised his voice as Patrick retreated, "that they're all looking down?"
 "I suppose."
 "And they look a bit... Surprised."
 "I suppose."
 "Oh! Will you stop saying that!"
 "I suppose." Patrick laughed and headed through the statues towards the rusted iron gate set in the perimeter wall. "You know" he shouted, barely looking over his shoulder, "legend has it that these were all real people once. They turned to stone when they heard a dog speak."
 "Right" said Allan as he rolled his eyes and waited for Monkey to finish weeing over the weathered statue's shins. 
 As Patrick disappeared from view, Allan turned and looked down at Monkey. "Come on. Let's go home and get some tea." Monkey looked up expectantly at the word "tea" and wagged her tail. Allan smiled at the happy dog. "And you'd better not talk, OK?"
 "I won't" said Monkey.

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Good Evening, Starshine

November 1, 2015, 11:11 am
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 Well, another Samhain has passed.

 We hope you all had a wonderful Hallowe'en, and are ready for the latter half of Autumn? 

Sunset at Cromer Lighthouse yesterday - Samhain begins here!

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Who is the Muddy, Solanum Sallet-eating Cowbag?

November 4, 2015, 5:23 am
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Surely these two aren't responsible?
 I've been having a look through the stats for this blog over the last few months - as is my wont - and have discovered three posts that have garnered an awful lot more page views than others published around the same time, and also older posts, too.


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A bit of Sparky Malarkey

November 10, 2015, 1:37 pm
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 I don't normally do this kind of thing for bloggers who have given up the ghost, but I'm going to make an exception in this case, as it's the birthday of original Coven member and my one-time stalkee: Timothy "Elizabeth" Leng, aka Sparky Malarkey!
 Plus, it took me ages to make this card, so I want to show it off (although the photos are really very poor - Phone must have been having a bad day).

"From starry treks through Facebook, to the stables of blogs past"
Teedjé (because his initials are T J) Leng came about after a Facebook comment conversation in which I suggested Tim could be a joined Trill (Leng being the symbiont). The cosplaying bit may become clear when you see the final photo.

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What can he mean, special machine?*

November 15, 2015, 3:23 am
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 Time for another book update as I have nothing else worth posting at the moment.
 

 52.Trillions, by Nicholas Fisk

 This childrens - or, young adult, I should say - story, is a surprisingly chilling tale.
 In a small town, a peculiar rain of tiny, multi-faceted, toroidal objects fall. Millions of them. Billions. Trillions! Within hours, they have fallen all over the world. Initially, they appear benign, but soon start to link together forming copies of manmade objects, including tanks, missiles and bombs. One boy finds a way to communicate with them. He asks what humans should do for the Trillions and they reply: "Hate us".

 I love this book so much! I first read it years ago when I was a boy and have read it many times since. Even though I know the story inside out, I still get something new from it with every read. And those two words - "Hate us" - read in that context never fails to send shivers down my spine!
* Post title from page 44.


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Walk Like An Egyptian, with Brenton Thwaites

November 19, 2015, 1:09 am
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 Or, Run Away Like An Egyptian, perhaps?

 This looks dreadful, but Brenton Thwaites is in it, so I shall simply have to see it. I just hope the visual effects aren't finished yet, as those in this trailer look a little ropey.




 Oh, dear...

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Upstairs, Downstairs

November 25, 2015, 7:34 am
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 No, not this one.

 Or that one on the right, which is the dizzying view from the top and bottom of the stairs at work.

 Strictly Come Dancing put on an 'Upstairs, Downstairs' themed Lindy Hop opening routine for their annual visit to Blackpool on Saturday night!



 If you watch Strictly, who are your favourite couple? Mine are Kellie& Kevin, with Jay& Aliona coming a very close second.
And doesn't Jay look like a young Thor? Phwoooaarr!!

 That's pretty much all we have time for at the mo, but we should be back in a few days, and we'll try and get around to visit you all, too. 
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LCARS Cusp Ship Status

December 6, 2015, 3:17 am
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 Yes, I know it's been a while - I missed the first of the month post! I haven't much to report, except that I've been over the Cusp sorting out a few things. Nothing I can share here at the moment, though.
 But, here's a little something the Host knocked up while we were inbetween realities:

 Some of you may recognise certain elements of it - some being more obvious than others. And just in case you didn't know (The Very Mistress MJ, I'm looking at you), the design is based on the LCARS (Library Computer Access and Retrieval System) displays from the 24th century-set Star Treks.
 So, shout out in the comments when you find something that looks familiar.

 P.S. This post brings this year's total to one more than those of 2012, 2013, and 2014 combined! Only six more to go to match the heady heights of 2010's 89 posts.

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LCARS preview of North Norfolk witchery

December 9, 2015, 2:39 am
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 I had sent my tinfoil mini-Broom, Silverbolt, off on a survey mission to see whether it was worth getting off my backside and heading out for a walk. 

 Here are some of the telemetry data it returned - and in handy-dandy LCARS style, too (see previous post).


 Well, the weather looks OK, and some of my marker sigils are still in one piece, so I think I'll head out. I'll post some photos from my travels when I get back.

 See you all soon!
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